When learning to be a great leader, if you can’t do it all, just do this one thing
Over the years I’ve seen many a different style of leadership. From the outstanding, to the downright atrocious. I’ve witnessed leaders who have managed to inspire their people to reach ever increasing levels of high-performance and loyalty. I’ve witnessed leaders who have managed to drive away over half of their workforce in the span on 9 months (that was about 40 people) while simultaneously completely derailing all the good work the people on the ground were trying to do. There is so many different tenets to being a good leader, but I’m not going to go into of all them now because that is way too big of a topic for a single short read. However there is one thing, one thing you can do if you’re trying to become a better leader. One thing which you’re going to say, “well that’s obvious” when I tell you but when you actually look at your own behaviours will realise that it’s much harder than it sounds.
My mind goes back to one of my first examples of bad leadership that I encountered, back in my early 20’s when I was working as a Porter in a hotel near where I lived. In this particular hotel we occasionally got celebrity guests, and being the only native English speaking Porter on the roster of staff I was often assigned as the ‘personal attendant’ to the celebrities, to ensure they had everything they needed. On one particular night we had a very famous boy-band (is that even a phrase anymore?) staying with us and naturally, being singers they couldn’t sleep with an air conditioning unit being on for fear of drying out their throats. So they requested we opened the windows in the room to allow some natural air in. A simple and fair request, but with one small problem. All the windows were fitted with security harnesses to stop them from opening more than a couple centimetres. This didn’t really let the air flow in enough to provide any sense of freshness, so we wanted to unlock the harnesses so the window could be opened properly.
All this was happening at about 8pm in the evening. The facilities manager had gone home, so had all the housekeeping team. It was only reception, waitresses, barmen, the manager and myself in the building. So upon getting the request from reception I went off to get the key bag from the back office so that I can unlock the harnesses on the windows. Unfortunately for me, at this point the manager caught wind of it. For the sake of anonymity we shall call him “Mr. Yes”, I call him that because regardless of the request any superior gave him (or customer) he would say yes. No managing of expectations, no challenging the reasoning to ensure time isn’t being wasted, just… “yes sir, I’ll do it right away”. So now Mr. Yes had caught wind of the request and in true micromanager form, he wanted to give it his undivided attention to ensure that everything went smoothly. Annoying certainly, but un-believably it isn’t actually the lesson of this story. So I met him at the reception desk with the bag of keys, upon opening the bag and emptying the big key chain out we realised the severity of the situation. We had a key chain with somewhere in the region of 30 keys on it and nobody knew which one was which. Now, this is where the one key skill you should learn to have as a leader comes in. In that moment I had a plan, I knew what I was going to do. I was going to take the key bag to one of our empty rooms with the same locks on, and considering the shape of the lock there was only a particular shape of key that would open them which narrowed it down to probably only a handful of options. I was going to, using good old fashioned trial and error and the process of elimination, find the correct key and go fulfil the customers request.
At least, that’s the plan that was formulating in my head as I was presented by the very large key chain. However, before I could even start to communicate what I was going to do, Mr. Yes was off ‘managing’. He looked at the key chain and immediately panicked, started stressing out and was frantically trying to get hold of someone that knew which key it was. Upon realising that there wasn’t anybody around to help, he spur of the moment decided that he wants me to go get a hacksaw and cut through the metal wire that connects the window to the window sill… Yes, just let that sink in. I said to him,
“I’m sure I can figure out which key it is”.
But he replied,
“No, there isn’t time for that just go cut it and we’ll fit a new one tomorrow, go go go.”
So off I went. Looking back now, I should have just ignored him and did what I was planning on doing anyway but I was young and didn’t want to lose my job. So off I popped, and spent the next 20 minutes cutting through the metal wire like an idiot, but at least I was a successful idiot and the customer was able to open the window to it’s fullest. Job well done. The next morning the facilities manager was livid, and rightly so. Many insults were then expelled from his mouth aimed towards Mr. Yes.
What does this have to do with that one thing you can learn? I’ve met leaders like him a few times, and the key thing that differentiates good leaders from bad leaders, is the ability to stay calm. As a leader, you are the pillar of serenity. The calm amongst the storm. The guiding light that people look to when everything is going wrong for support. The worst thing you can do in that moment is panic just as much as they are. This is why it isn’t such a simple thing to do, it requires a very stoic mindset, a very mindful individual. Because there’s a good chance that if everything is going wrong, and you’re the leader then ultimately you’ve got a higher level of responsibility and this is going to sit on your shoulders. So naturally you’re going to be emotionally charged. That is when you need to have the clarity to be able to take a deep breath, assess the situation calmly and logically and think of all the available options. Making a knee-jerk decision based on the immediate data available to you has rarely, if ever, been the best decision to make.
But what if I told you that is only half the picture? That’s only one side of the same coin. When things are going wrong, you need to be the calm one to help defuse the situation but you also need to be the calm one when things are going well and everyone is very excited about a particular thing. Generally, emotions and logic go in opposition of one another. So if you’re emotionally charged, there is a good chance you’re not making a decision that is taking everything into consideration. So when your team or teams come to you with a fantastic new idea that’s going to revolutionise the world, you need to again be that pillar of serenity and remain level-headed about it. Help them to understand the big picture, understand all the variables that they are possibly ignoring in order to appease their confirmation bias. Help them to think it right through from beginning to end. Absolutely you need to nurture that excitement and passion, but the worst thing you can do is just jump on the bandwagon, get all excited and fly off the hinges and run with it. Being calm, shockingly, has a calming effect. It spreads to others around you, especially when someone higher up in the hierarchy is calm. Look at how children react to their parents state of mind. If it doesn’t bother the parent, why should it bother the child? After all, they know better and if there was any danger they’d be looking to protect us.
So if you’re on the journey to be a great leader, and you’re desperately trying to master all of the different attributes simultaneously then stop. Master being the pillar of serenity your team needs during the highs and the lows, and then start tackling one thing at a time.
I am available to give talks in England on how to build a culture and environment that breeds productivity and fulfilment through effective leadership. Connect with me on LinkedIn and let’s talk some more: https://www.linkedin.com/in/martyn-puddephatt-14b08757/
